I grew up in Michigan and moved to Alabama after college. It was hard to leave my family and friends, but we promised to meet up every May in Louisville for the Kentucky Derby.
I looked forward to that weekend all year. I spent months finding the perfect dress and floppy hat and made a paper chain countdown calendar that looped around my tiny kitchen (sorry to my roommates! And to all the trees — there were a lot of paper rings.)
The weekend was always a whirlwind of horses, hats, high jinks and cringey karaoke at the VFW hall. It was impossible to be completely present as I was always trying to capture the moment with my camera or write down what was happening so I wouldn’t forget a thing. I wanted to bottle up our good energy and carry it with me wherever I went.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that. On the drive back to Alabama I could literally feel the joy draining from my body. It was brutal. I told myself to shake it off and stop being a baby — I should be happy I had such a great time. But it usually took days for me to even start feeling like myself again.
It turns out a lot of people feel this way after a big, happy event or celebration like the holidays. It’s called post event blues or post vacation depression and it refers to the sudden drop in mood and feelings of sadness and fatigue after an event is over.
“It's one of these bittersweet ironies. The more fun it was, the more empty a person can feel after,” said Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist who specializes in depression, anxiety and loss.
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Why do people get post vacation depression?
Post vacation depression happens for different reasons. For some people, the event or vacation is a break from everyday life and something to look forward to. “It gives you a spark, and when that’s gone, it feels like a loss or letdown especially if there’s nothing that’s coming up to build feelings of anticipation and get excited about,” Thomas said.
Another reason for post event blues is loss of connection. Thomas said reunions, weddings and holidays are examples of times when you connect with other people, which can lead to feelings of joy and happiness — a la Kentucky Derby — and can feel like a loss afterward.
Feeling down after a good time is common, but there are things you can do to help lift your spirits. Here are Thomas’ tips for dealing with the post event blues.
- Don’t say goodbye without a plan. That tearful dropoff at the airport is absolutely heartbreaking. But you can make it seem less final by making a plan to see your loved one(s) again before you leave. It doesn’t have to be a big grand event like planning another trip or something travel related. It can be something simple like scheduling a video call for a certain day and time after the trip. That way, you can look forward to seeing that person sooner than later.
- Shake up your routine. Adding more moments of joy to your everyday life can help remind you that you can have fun outside of a set period like a planned vacation. If you love music, go to a free concert or buy tickets to see a show. Love the outdoors? Try a new walking trail or a hike. Or take a drive after work and enjoy the scenery near your home. Whatever you do, you should be enjoying life.
- Create your own events. Most of us plan travel and gatherings around calendar holidays, but you don’t have to wait a year to celebrate what’s important to you. For example, plan a date night with your hottie once a month instead of waiting for Valentine’s or Galentine’s Day.
- Workout. Exercise releases endorphins — the “feel-good” chemicals — in the brain that can help take the edge off the intensity of post event blues. Try walking for 30 minutes a day or break it up into two 15-minute sessions if you can’t commit to a half hour.
- Lean on your emotional support circle. Be open about your feelings with the people you trust in your life and ask them how they get through tough times and feeling sad. You may be surprised by what you learn, and sharing can help you feel less alone and more connected to others.
Post vacation depression happens, but if your symptoms (sadness, fatigue, low energy, etc.) don’t improve after two weeks — or they’re getting worse — contact your healthcare provider right away. You may be experiencing something different than just post event blues.
