For Expecting Mothers: Deciding Whether Adoption Is the Right Choice

If you're pregnant and feel unprepared for parenthood, giving your baby up for adoption may have crossed your mind. You might also be feeling guilty or conflicted about this option, which is understandable considering the weight of the decision. It's important to thoroughly think this through, as your choice will not only change your life, but that of your baby and his or her adoptive parents.

First, be sure to explore all of your options. It may help to visit a counselor or social worker who can give you advice and listen to how you feel about your situation. Perhaps talking it out will help you come to realizations that didn't seem so obvious before.

Additionally, you can ask the professional about how they can help you with parenting skills if you decide to keep your baby, or if they will be able to assist you with emotional issues if you conclude that adoption is the best choice. A counselor may also be able to help you choose an adoption agency and inform you of your rights and responsibilities as the child's birth mother.

In addition to your own rights, you need to consider those of your child's father. How does he feel about adoption? Would he be willing and able to take care of the baby on his own and provide him or her with the life you believe your child deserves? If so, perhaps giving the child to his or her father is the best choice, no matter what your relationship with him.

You can find a counselor or social worker through your city or county Health and Human Services Department, as well as through social or family services. You may want to consult a faith-based counselor if religion or spirituality is an important aspect of your life. Adoption agencies also have professionals on staff to help women choose the best option for themselves and their children.

You may have been advised to speak with an adoption lawyer. While these individuals can help you immensely once you've decided on adoption, they may not be able to do much when it comes to assisting you in making a decision.

The best reasons for choosing adoption include wanting your baby to have a life complete with everything the child needs, including emotional and physical needs. Also, some women and men decide to give up their babies due to drug or alcohol problems in a household. Although it may help the expectant mother to seek counseling and advice, in the end, the decision is a personal choice for the parents, with the primary consideration being the future well-being of their child.