A recent study by researchers at the University of Central Lancashire and the University of Leeds found that the majority of women—around 80 percent—admitted to faking an orgasm. It might be to please their partners; speed up sex because of discomfort, time limitations or boredom; or other reasons—but it's definitely not doing women any favors. To boost your chances of having an orgasm, it helps to figure out what gets you going and how you can achieve it.
One size doesn't fit all
As Sari Cooper, LCSW, a licensed individual, couples and sex therapist, pointed out, not all women reach orgasm the same way.
"In other words, some women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, while other women can either have clitoral orgasms through direct stimulation or intercourse. In addition, some women can only have orgasms through intercourse (which can be G-spot and/or clitoral)."
That means it's up to you to do a little experimentation to find out what turns you on the most. After a few solo sessions, you should have a pretty good idea what kinds of moves you require from your partner. Here are some female-friendly positions and methods to try.
- If you need direct clitoral stimulation: Make sure foreplay is part of the equation. This not only gets you ready for sex, but it's a great way to bond with your partner and increase your chances of having an orgasm. Use manual or oral stimulation, or even a vibrator, to help, whether it's before, during or after intercourse. During intercourse, try positions that allow easy access to your clitoris, like girl on top, spooning or scissors. This will make it easy for either you or your partner to use manual stimulation during sex to provide the direct contact you need to finish.
- If you need G-spot stimulation: The G-spot is located on the front wall of your vagina. There are several sex positions that allow your partner the deep penetration and correct angle to reach it. For example, try missionary position with your legs propped up on either of your partner's shoulders. Or, try doggie style and allow your partner to thrust to his heart's content. The reverse cowgirl is another option that allows you to control how deep he goes and which angle you like.
- If you need clitoral stimulation through intercourse: Try the modified coital alignment technique, suggested Susan Kellogg-Spadt, CRNP, Ph.D., professor of obstetrics/gynecology at the Drexel University College of Medicine. Start off in missionary position, then bring your legs together in between your partner's. Have him shift his weight forward so that his erection puts firm pressure and friction on your clitoris as he thrusts, then wait for the magic to happen.
